How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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