I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
