I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He passed out mid-signature
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize