this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I checked into jail on foursquare
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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