I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
