I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
