woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
