You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
