just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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