Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
