Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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