just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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