she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
