He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
