Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
