don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I am naked and annoyed.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
