How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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