I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
