some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
