We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
