is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
