you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize