Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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