Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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