i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
