dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
