They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
