Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
