You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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