new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
