My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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