2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
