i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize