omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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