I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
