cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My vagina is very pro this idea
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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