Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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