I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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