when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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