I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
