Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
