Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
