Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
