That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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