her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
