She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
