When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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