Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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