dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
