u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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