the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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