This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just blew my weed a kiss
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
