You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
