She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Come back. Shots need mouths.
my poor anus
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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