you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
