dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
