dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
