Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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