I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
