Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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